2/26/2011

Hurt Again

A dear friend caused me so much pain today. A friend I thought was one of my closest in the team, a new found friend I never thought I would win, someone who was before an aloof and a loner friend told me I'm "tsismosa" and "ahas" in Twitter. At first I've accepted it as a joke but when I checked on our previous Tweet conversations...I feel that there's "something" on his words. I tried chatting with him in Yahoo Messenger asking him what I did to deserve being called "tsismosa" as I can't recall saying his anything to anyone. It's just so happen that this friend confided a very deep secret to me and to another close friend. Though I know that whatever he shared with me that day is already an open secret loooong before pa, he just made a confirmation on it. My other friends are the first ones who knew about it  long before I've heard about it from another friend. It's not a big deal to me at all. I've known so many gay friends who came from the same situation and finally went out in the open. I thought I'm helping him to get out of his shell because we are already openly joking about it. I never saw any type of hesitation or denial whenever we would joke around regarding that kind of topic. Never knew he is already despising me.

I was really hurt. I never did anything to deserve this. My Saturday was ruined because of him. Instead of us going somewhere, I lost my interest and just stayed home. I don't want to lose him as a friend as we share common interests and he's one of my closest male friend but I hope he would realize the consequences of his actions. I hope he would explain to me and I hope he'll say sorry and that whatever he said in Twitter was just a joke. If he will not do the first move, I will just forget about everything. I will just be civil to him....I was deeply hurt. Till now, I'm still thinking about it but I know it would do me no good. I would just concentrate on happy thoughts. I will be going out with my hubby today to buy some stuff for the house, I hope I can forget about this hurtful feelings because of it.

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